SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY

OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate disease.

KARMAGEDDON: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

GLIBIDO: All talk and no action.

DOPELER EFFECT: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

AGUILE SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT: A software development method that favors skillful deceit and trickery over customer collaboration and working software.

APPLECATION: A group of positively charged programmers who still believe Apple Computers will achieve global domination.

BEER REVIEW: The review of after-work beverages for optimal obliteration after a long day.

BONDWIDTH: A software engineer's capacity to participate in pair programming.

CAPABILITY MANURITY MODEL: A model that delineates the characteristics of a process that stinks. CODEING: Transforming a design into a program language while under the influence of a narcotic derived from opium.

COMPUTER-RAIDED SOFTWARE ENGINEERING: The automation of methods for pilfering software designs.

CUSSTOMERS: Clients who use profanity to tell you what they really think about your software.

DEVILERABLE DOCUMENTATION: A wicked user's manual that torments its readers.

DONFIGURATION: Re-arrangement of programmer body parts when a racketeering application crashes.

DORK BREAKDOWN STRUCTURE: A listing of all activities and attributes that renders a software engineer a dork.

FAUX TOLERANCE: The number of mistakes a manager can withstand before sacking a software engineer.

FUNCTION PINT ANALAYSIS: A measurement process that focuses on the number of pints of ale required to start a project.

FUNCTIONAL DECOMPOSTITION: The filtering of system functions to remove decayed code and improve structure.

HYPOTEXT MARKUP LANGUAGE: A programming tool used to develop squalid spam and pop-up messages.

JOINT SUPPLICATION DESIGN: A design technique that humbly beseeches users for requirements and money at the same time.

KINSPECTIONS: An analysis technique that relies on visual examination of close relatives to detect errors and family issues.

METADATE: Something rare for a software engineer.

PEST-CLOSURE ACTIVITIES: Activities that occur after a software system has been formally accepted and problems begin.

PROTECT MANAGEMENT: A system of practices and know-how that shields a manager from blame on a failed project.

RABID PROTOTYPING: A tumultuous, uncontrollable system built inexpensively for demonstration so that end-users can determine what they don't want.

RELEASE VEERSION: A software application that has been tested and found to be completely off course from the original design but released for use anyway.

RETIREMENTS ELICITATION: The process through which a manager and engineer discover, articulate, and understand the conditions by which the engineer will leave a project and retire.

ROBJECT-ORIENTED DESIGN: A software development technique in which a system or component is designed to fleece people on the Internet.

SOFTWARE ENGINEERING PETHICS: A gullible unsophisticated pair programmer kept for amusement.

TOST ESTIMATION:What 99 percent of software cost estimates become.

USER WINTERFACE: The look you get from a customer when your program freezes up during acceptance testing.

WHISK MANAGEMENT: A quick, nimble, rapid decision-making management style that whips a project into shape and works well with agile software development but may leave egg on your face if not done right.